the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
