no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
