P.S. I can't hear my feet
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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