I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
