my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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