I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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