i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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