Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
