you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
