BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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