We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
