He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
