I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
