i just had sex bonerless
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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