As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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