What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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