So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize