Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
