Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
