She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
