Your tits are I can't wait for
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
