Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The best revenge is premature balding
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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