The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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