just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
