And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
