I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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