I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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