Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
