My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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