You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize