idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
