we're chasing vodka with high fives
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
