weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize