how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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