We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
