just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
