Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
