this beer tastes like vomit already
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I want a musical about memes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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