what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
