I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I've blown a few things in my day
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
third nipple confirmed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
