Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
