if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
