we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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