The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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