I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
