i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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