I love black thongs
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
