seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
