who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
