I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
