I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I deserve this hangover.
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