Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
