In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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