i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
