at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
