It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
