Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
