i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
