my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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