wanna go halves on a baby?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
