I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
